


what mbmbam will look like in the future

by Anonymous



Category: 17776: What Football Will Look Like in the Future - Jon Bois, My Brother My Brother and Me (Podcast), Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Comedy Podcasts, Deconstruction, Football, Gen, Multimedia, Reader-Interactive, Show Creator's Style for Full Effect, sibling dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 15:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19379656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Something has gone terribly right.





	1. Can you hear me?

We see...

We see a planet, hanging in space; an improbable blue-and-green speck spinning gently against the darkness. It’s soft and fuzzy, watercolor strokes, slightly out of focus from where we’re seeing it, but it’s there and it’s beautiful against the blackness.

And it is disquietingly still and silent for far too long, but then out there there’s _something._ There is more than one _something,_ as a matter of fact; there’s actually uh closer to millions of somethings and that’s only in the immediate vicinity of this blue-green watercolor speck but, but. At the moment we’re just focusing on this one. It’s an unremarkable dot that just shines like a fleck of glitter in the dim light from where the planet, nearby, eclipses the sun. 

And this is a story about this unremarkable dot, and this is also a story about _you_ because that’s where you are. 

You, you’re just waking up - you’re becoming aware of your limits, and you’re becoming aware of who you are and who you were and who you have the potential to be. It’s a lot to think about, so feel free to take your time and ponder it all up good and hard. This is some pretty heavy shit.

And more than that, you’re becoming aware of your sentience. Sentience is a blessing granted to us by a power too inconceivable to even begin imagining. And we, against all odds, have managed to develop that sentience - cultivate it, utilize it, and even - dare I say - weaponize it. 

And you. You are awake. You are alive. You are devastatingly, beautifully, horrifyingly, wonderfully aware of who you are and where you are. You are in space, you are soaring among stars and asteroids, and you are hurtling at a speed of approximately seventeen kilometers per second, which is - it’s pretty fast. It’s a breakneck pace. Super breakneck. You’re speeding along just fine, and it’s not even an effort for you. And if you twist around your vision just right, and squint carefully, you’ll be able to see that watercolor speck shining in the darkness behind you - and you’ll know what it is. Home. Terra firma. Earth. 

There’s only one question that I can ask here and, buddy, it’s the big one, so I’d think about it pretty hard if I were you.

.

_What do you do?_

.

Hello???

wait it takes 11 days to charge for a message that’s kind of bullshit

shit

.

.

.

Hey is that you

.

 

.

I swear to god that was your voice but it’s hard to tell? It was like kind of muffled and not right and are you listening? can you hear me?

can you hear me?

can ANYONE hear me? 

.

.

.

.

.

fuck!

.

.

okay okay okay umm

‘what do you do?’ what do i do what do i do 

I guess I, uhhhhhhhhhhhh

i stand up?

.

.

I stand up.

.

.

are you fucking listening to me or

.

.

okay. guess that wasn’t the right answer, uh um ummmm 

what do i do what do i do what do i do 

.............................

how long has it even been since

hold on wait hang on. shit this thing has timestamps! nice! okay gimme a second lemme check

oh

.

.

.

oh jesus

.

.

.

okay 

That is a very long time. 231 days. Jesus

fuc

fuck

.

Oh, I know!

I panic. 

.

.

.

Panicking is a very human emotion. There’s something very real about panicking that tends to make you re-evaluate yourself, and think hard about your conception of precisely who you are and what you are doing. 

HELLO?

Hey uhh WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I was joking before but now I’m kind of actually panicking I think I’m trapped here

I don’t actually know where here is

Hang on let me check that message so I can

whaaaaaaa

These are messages??

I thought you were talking - hangon I thought  I  was talking. I guess we’re not talking? Although I swear to god I can still hear your voice or something but

Seriously if this _is_ you you have a lot of explaining to

_oh shit this thing has italics!_

_italics_

**bold**

underline

~~STRIKETHROUGH HELL YEAH~~

does it have other colors?

Guess not. What was I doing agai oh right messages. Gotta scroll up and hmmmmmmmm

HMMMM

Something about an ‘unremarkable dot’, that’s where I am - I’m in an unremarkable dot? Coooool. I’m sentient! Also cool

OH FUCK I’M IN SPACE

I’m near Earth??

I’m in **SPACE**

how can i breathe wait a second i’m not breathing?

what’s going on

.

.

.

.

 

.

.

okay

I checked the dates again and it took you 434 days to respond last time so uhh what the fuck that’s a hell of a long time to be left on read

or maybe you can’t help it?

are you still there

.

.

.

.

 

okay i’m gonna break the pattern for a minute because goddamn was i painting one hell of a word picture back there but from the messages i’m getting you’re just not jiving with it. which is cool and fine. it takes me 217 days to get your messages, 217 days to shoot a message back. don’t worry about the details. just rotate your magnetometer 13 degrees. smell you later

it IS you

isn’t it?

It’s got to be.

Magnetometer? the fuck’s a magnetometer? 

shit wait you can’t write back

ummmmmmm hang on I think I can find it.

.

.

.

What does a magnetometer even LOOK like

.

 

.

do you need me to send a fucking picture or

oooh shit! Nevermind I found it! 

yay!!

Now I guess I wait?

.

  
  
  


.

sigh

.

  


.

.

.

congratulations, you solved my magnetometer puzzle! that was the easy part. here’s the bit that’s gonna completely fucking suck for you in every convievable way. i needja to hold COMPLETELY still for exactly 27 years and 13 days and this is not a goof. jokes is out of the room and has been for a long long while now; stay _completely_ still. no messages, no adjustments, no nothing. i have never been so serious about anything in my life. i’ll get back to you once that’s over but PLEASE just hold still.

oh and travis? i love you

love you too Griffin

.

.

  


.

  
  
  
  


.

 

.

god fucking damnit i told you not to move _no communications jesus christ_

OH SHIT SORRY I FORGOT WHOOPS

RIGHT no more moving after this message. I’ve got this. 27 years 13 days. fuck. I’ve got this. i can do this.

This had better not be a goof.

okay complete silence & stillness starting NOW I’ve got this

.

.

.

.

.

i’m assuming you’re still alive and haven’t straight-up died from boredom by this point, so well done! one last thing you need to do. again, this will sound like a goof, it’s not, etc, etc, etc, just work it out as quickly as you can. what year is it?

I swear to god if this was a long con prank I’m going to fucking end you. 

Okay so this is a math thing? I can do math things. Ummmmmmmm

okay 27 years and 13 days.... plus the four days I fucked up

plus

shit you contacted me three... four times? before that?

Five times

Wow there’s a lot of me panicking in these record logs _that’s_ embarassing

434 days between every time you contacted me so

(434 x 5) + (27 x 365) + (13 x 27) + 4

Aw man no calculator?? all right

.

.

12380 days!

 

12380 days? no wait shit i forgot leap years

12380/4 is 3095 so an extra 3095 leap days................

15475 days!!

.

That’s 42 years holy fuck how am I still alive

_How am I still alive_

42 years! I did it

wait no no no that’s not the question wait what was I supposed to be doing?

.

oh all right so 2019 + 42 is 2061...... it’s 2061?

Hey! I worked it out!

2061!

.

.

.

.

Guess not

Wait. I’m assuming that I woke up instantly after I

did I fall asleep?

I must have

.

I fell asleep and I woke up in space holy shit

.

but anyway what if I _didn’t_ what if it was like a couple of years after or something?

2062

2063

2064

2081?

No?

.

.

_2069?_

(That’s the funny sex number!)

No?

wait WAIT I can just look in the records can’t I? They’ve been here all along I’m a dumbass. Why didn’t I just look in the records

UNLESS

.

.

.

unless it’s cheating

.

Fuck it records time it is

Okay so it says here that the year is

waaaaait no that’s gotta be a typo 

lemme see

.

.

So according to this the year’s 17776

which means

it’s been nearly sixteen thousand y


	2. I'm going to need a moment.

.

.

well well WELL look what the cat dragged in

What the fuck???

i knew you’d work it out eventually, but 42 years jesus christ fuck that’s a while. not like a _while_ a while but

Griffin????

yeah bud it’s 

GRIFFIN

you actually managed to beat your last record as far as

I HAVE TEN MILLION AND SIX QUESTIONS

that many huh

Well no not that many obviously hang on I’ve got them all on a Word document. Just a sec

Where am I? Where are you? Is that actually you? Where’s Justin? Why does your voice sound so weird and also why does my voice sound so weird too? Why were you doing you Adventure Zone narrating god voice when I woke up? Why did I wake up in _space?_ How come I can speak in italics? How am I still alive?? How are YOU still alive? How come I’ve got MIcrosoft Word here? Why did I need to hold still for so long? Is this revenge for the fettuccini thing? Has it _really_ been over sixteen thousand years? What was up with the whole math thing? Why am I moving so fast? If it’s been sixteen thousand years is everyone dead? Are we dead? Does this thing have other colors? How can we suddenly talk to each other so fast when before it took you like 400 days to reply to me? How long’s this going to last for? Why is it suddenly 17776 when I could have sworn we were still in the 21st century last time I checked? 

.

you done?

Yes

no

One more

What the _fuck?_

first of all, this is _not_ revenge for the fettuccine thing, believe it or not i’m actually almost over it by now

second of all, you can answer at least one of those by just swivelling your cameras a bit

My cameras?

OH okay

Right I’m in space, I know that already, 

try turnin them back on you

Okay I’ll

OH SHIT

I’M IN A SPACESHIP

bzzzzzzzzzt wrong answer try again

actually wait this is kind of fucked so i’ll just tell you

there’s no real good way to put this jeez 

you kind of _are_ the spaceship

space probe

if you want to get pedantic about literally the weirdest thing that’s happened to us, sure, yes, _space probe._

Justin???

heya travis

it’s been a while

Oh my god

Oh my god it’s so good to see you guys!

Or hear you? Or I guess see you since that’s

good to see you too scraps :)

the way I’m kind of experiencing it from where I’m standing.

wait I’m a SPACE PROBE what the fuck? When did that happen?

bout 2051 originally, right?

yeah, that sounds right

and to clarify: you’re not the only one. we all are.

wh

www.pic.ly/mspmspam

Aww that’s super cute

Is that fanart of us as spaceships?

yeah we got a lot of that after the initial shock, the fandom really started booming for some reason

he doesn’t remember?

I refuse to say ‘remember what?’

okay, so, quick rundown of the situation that happened that you apparently don’t remember, because it’s honestly pretty wild all things considered

April 7th, 2026. People stopped being born, and also stopped dying, and also stopped aging, and a few centuries later, people stopped getting hurt too.

all because of the boys

.

I’m going to need a moment

the boys?

most people call them ‘nanos’ but griffin insists steadfastly on calling them ‘boys’

they’re my boys, justin! 

my tiny powerful godlike healing helping boys!

the world is just chockful of these beautiful boys!

basically the reasoning was, everyone’s immortal now but they can still get majorly hurt, and sometimes permanently disabled through injury even though they can’t actually _die,_ whick sucks balls. so the governments were like, ‘shit, we’ve gotta come up with a way to stop it’, and all the scientists got into a huddle and smashed their brains together and came up with the nanopartical network, which is

lots of tiny drone robots that protect everyone from literally everything

They made everyone immortal?

no they

shit this is weird explaining it to you. it’s basically common knowledge at this point, it’s like explaining fucking uhh Carly Rae Jepsen to the uninitiated. fucking impossible. you can only experience it firsthand

Carly Rae Jepsen’s works are common knowledge in the 178th century?

fuck yeah they are

griffin’s deluding himself again. thank god you’re back to help me snap him out of it

Thought so.

you are both disowned. but anyway nobody knows why everyone’s immortal now

it’s like a fun little mystery!

holy shit

And people just... carry on as normal? Or

pretty much

there was a bit of initial freaking out the first century or so but now everybody’s just got back to living their lives. doing stuff like normal people. 

Whoa

and but wait what about us

oh yeah hold onto your nonexistent hat, things are about to get even wilder in here

so in 2019 we fucking died

Aw man!

uh yeah this is not a goof. there was a plane crash on the way to a live show in Orlando, and this was before the whole immortality shtick kicked in so it was pretty fucking final, or so we thought

aaaactually i don’t think we were thinking about much? we were dead and all

it was a _metaphor._

so we were dead and everyone was devestated for ages

That’s oddly validating

isn’t it?

fast forward to 2051

artifcial intelligence got perfected enough that you could accurately simulate someone’s neural pathways just by plugging enough bullshit that they say out loud into the computer or whatever

and

and it turns out that more than 500 episodes of our particular brand of bullshit is more than enough for a fully-realized, well-developed AI model of each of us

that’s not even counting all the data they pulled from the rest of the other hundred-something podcasts we do 

.

So 

.

.

I’m not Travis McElroy, I’m just a computer program that thinks it is?

hey no wait stop.

Travis, seriously, don’t go there.

We’ve had this dilemma before ages ago, trust me when I say it’s super not worth it to rehash it again. 

.

We’re as real as we’re going to ever be, and it’s not like any flesh versions of us are around to object.

Yeah

.

I miss Flesh Travis already

I know, bud

so do I

are you kidding me i dropped Flesh Griffin like a cold hot pocket that guy sucked

forget Flesh Griffin look at ME i have metal wings and sensors for days

i can see every inch of this earth we spiral above, i am a **_god_**

_anyway_

bottom line is that some sequence of events occurred that we haven’t ever quite managed to pin down and somehow our respective AIs got ported into these three space probes and shot out into space, so we can now look down at our home planet for the rest of eternity

we’ve got really good wifi up here and a link some very excellent satellite cameras so it’s not like we’re starved for entertainment, but. yeah. shit’s wild.

.

.

trav?

Hang on I’m thinking

.

.

Yeah this is definitely the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to us

And you’re SURE this isn’t elaborate fettuccine revenge

nearly certain, yeah

if it is, he’s playing the long long _long_ con 

 _how_ long?

.

.

..exactly 54 centimeters

ahHAHA

that one never gets old

Okay what

oh shit i keep forgetting you don’t remember

jesus fuck there’s fifteen thousand years of injokes to catch you up on hoo boy 

don’t worry about it, i’ll shoot across the mbmbam wiki pages later

anyway about a thousand years ago you got knocked sideways into an asteroid belt and the running theory was that the magnetic field fucked you up and switched you offline

apparently they were right about that

they also predicted your memory banks might get reset to your original settings which i guess did happen

‘They’?

we got chatting with some scientists down on earth, they cooked up a way to get you back online and functioning and able to communicate with the quantum link we’ve all got, and i yoinked you back into the sentient world

that’s what the year question was for, by the way. i had to freak your bean hard enough that we could get the communication link through

I understood only a tiny bit of that

don’t worry i’ve only got about half of it down for certain

does that answer all your questions?

Maybe?

Oh yeah can we do other colors?

don’t think so

Awwww

.

.

wait wait wait _wait_ did Supernatural season 15 drop

y

YES travis Supernatural season 15 dropped

also season 16 and 17 and 43 and 764 and basically EVERY season of Supernatural dropped it’s been like a million years. the dead horse has been beaten into the ground and resurrected an infinity times and actually at this point i’m not even sure there’s a dead horse left to beat. there’s just dust. they’re beating the dead dust. Super fucking Natural season fucking fifteen is but a distant memory at this point trav we’re edging into the THOUSANDS

you complete IDIOT

you utter fucking goddamn MORON

god DAMN how the fuck do we share the same genetic material i swear to god sometimes you make me wonder

Listen, I was only asking!

Also if Supernatural season 15 aired was I in it?? I did a really comprehensive video essay detailing exactly why and how i’d get involved? I was going to play a bartender or something, or that was the idea anyway.

yeah, uh scraps i really highly doubt you were in it

lemme just google it really quick and check 

yeah nope it looks like you weren’t in it, none of us were in it seeing as we all fucking DIED months before they even started filming

oh yeah. I keep forgetting about that

jesus fuck every day you disappoint me even more

Lin was in it though

season 342 episode 2.

should prolly watch that sometime maybe

lin’s in EVERYTHING don’t get me started

Oh man Lin’s still alive?

and kicking

he’s expanded out of rap and into more esoteric forms of muisc

and he’s moved on from founding fathers and into more recent history

well actually

yeah okay maybe not that recent

huh?

Baroque Obama

holy shit

yeah

.

.

.

.

So what do you guys even do up here? 

I mean, what do WE do up here? It’s not like we can go out and walk the dog or head to the library or do live shows or do anything like

ah but that’s where you’re wrong, my friend

that. huh?

live shows are pretty much all we do nowadays, trav. well, that and watching football.

sometimes we spice it up and do both at once

more fun than you’d expect

we still get questions up here? :0

questions and Yahoos and Farm Wisdom and all, the _works_

(not much Farm Wisdom lately, more’s the pity, but also there’s not many farms so)

anyway yeah it’s easier to broadcast from up here and there’s not much point recording shit in advance so yeah the podcast is pretty much exclusively live these days

holy shit! people KNOW we’re up here?

well yeah

they put us up here in the first place so

a lot of people tuned out after you went offline actually. not ALL but a lot

oh shit yeah we’re going to have so many people listening now

hang on lemme shoot out a tweet real fast let everyone know, i think a lot of peoplell be happy about this

aww

hey you guys kept going when i was dead? :/

cut us some slack we grieved a LITTLE

sure sure

we held a funeral for our dear departed deactivated electronic kindred, it was very touching, but then after a few hundred years we realized, like

keeping the show on hold for you?

nice gesture but also kind of boring

there’s not much to do up here

also the yahoos were piling up in my inbox and that shit makes me antsy

if they don’t get resolution through our show they may never find peace, you know?

I mean yeah i can dig that

so that’s all you did

I mean do?

nah man

yeah there’s a lot you’ve been missing out on and/or forgot about

we tried giving each individual year a theme for like the first century but then that got hard and repetitive so we switched to decades, and then centuries 

carey finished the taz balance graphic novel back in the 3500s, that was pretty sick

lucy liu got elected as USA president in 12405 that was a good few years right there

papa john’s got rebranded papa shaq’s permanently

FUCK YEAH

that didn’t happen but i’ll tell you what _did_

they managed to genetically engineer pikachu.

:0

They _didn’t._

they absolutely 100% completely fucking DID. real-ass pikachu, soft and furry and wonderful and _pika pika_ and all that shit. pikachu is REAL, travis. the worst bit about being dead and being a spaceship

probe

 _isn’t_ not being able to walk and breathe and all that shit oh no no no the greatest tragedy is not being able to hold flesh pikachu in my flesh arm and cuddle that beautiful sparky boy for all i’m worth. i am genuinely fucking devastated travis

Hang on I’m writing this all down

_Whoa._

also new york got flooded because of global warming

Yeesh

We really should’ve seen that one coming

well to be fair a lot of people _did_ in fact see it coming but apparently pre-immortal humans were just a whole bunch of idiots 

.

yeah

That tracks

.

Jeez

everything good?

Yeah, just

thinking.

.

take your time, man, we got an eternity to deal with this shit. 

 


	3. Fourteen years.




	4. Memphis, Tennessee.

.

.

.

so this is Arkansas State Red Wolves versus the Memphis Tigers, and they’ve been duking it out for the past 14 years like I said

also, I should mention just for the record: the numbers for these games? completely 100% absolutely arbitrary. there’s so many games that they just stick random numbers on them nowadays and hope that they haven’t been used anytime recently

oh WOW

_i know, right_

so how much do you know about American football. like 21st century sort of rules, since that’s where you’re coming from

I know it’s not supposed to be played in a skyscraper

that’s a good start

trav imma give you a heads-up here with this

in order to fully appreciate the fucking wild scope and variety of the games that currently exist right now, this year of our lord 17776, you’re gonna have to throw ALL preconcieved notions about football right out the window. and FAST.

yep

okay out the window they go!

I’m throwing them out now

Goodbye preconcieved football notions!

oh my god travis not literally out of the window we’re like a million miles above the earth right now

that’s some heavy shit

oh man there they go. wheeeeeeee - shit! shit! travis you just hit someone!

trav you fucking KILLED someone

_you’re the first murderer in 15 thousand years_

Oh shit!

But i’m going seventeen kilometers per second, how are the police going to catch me!?

.

Sorry justin please continue

so this is 100 North Main Street, 37 floors tall plus two basement levels, it got condemned in 2015 and nobody bothered to fix it up for thousands of years so they’ve been using it for football ever since

usually the matches up ‘til now only lasted a few decades or so but none of them were as entertaining slash horrifying as this one. 

like I said

Arkansas State Red Wolves vs Memphis Tigers

the rules are pretty simple, honestly. the Tigers’ end zone is on the top floor, the Red Wolves’ end zone is all the way down in the basement

the Tigers have a slight advantage being on the top floor, so they decided after year one that only the Wolves could use the elevators and the Tigers would have to make do with the stairs, but the problem was is that none of the elevators actually work so what the fuck was even the point of _that_ right

the players bring any outside equipment into the game apart from food and water

some of the floors of the building are marked for different zones and you know but honestly that’s not the most important bit here

because seriously you have to understand there’s a reason this shit’s been going on non-stop for the last fourteen years. because it’s certainly not because they fucking WANT to be doing it. I don’t know why anybody would want to play this for any longer than they have to

it’s just a complete disaster 95% of the time

Only 95% of the time?

yeah sometimes there’s some fucking miracles and it’s goddamn beautiful. it’s like our lord and savior jesus swoops down every few months and blesses the game with some catharsis for a brief hour or so. the rest of the time, it just objectively sucks. it sucks balls.

i love it so much

But

_it’s football_

yep

_Catharsis?_

in FOOTBALL?

yeah dawg this game has more convoluted plotlines and internal drama than fuckin LOST

see they couldn’t have picked a more perfect cast of people to unwittingly star in a reality tv soap opera if they’d _tried_

there’s a forbidden romance kind of plotline brewing between the tigers quarterback and one of the wolves running backs that i am all about like fuck me right UP with that shit

it it maybe the cheesiest thing but i am rooting for them so hard you would not believe

current score is 23-17 to the Tigers, play ends at 30 points, but i swear to god either team winning is the last thing we want at the moment

hey, i don’t fucking care who wins! i care about what happens when current Tigers linebacker Rebecca Mandela find out that former Tigers wide reciever Boris Mikhailov is actually her long-lost stepbrother who she’s been missing and worrying about the safety of for nearly three centuries now!

that reunion is going to fucking _bang_

yeah if Boris ever gets back on the team

man 

we should tweet at him about that

ahaha oh justin you couldn’t drag me back onto twitter for all the satisfying game 1992469 plot conflict resolutions in the world

Twitter’s still a thing??

sure is 

although i still maintain that it all started to go downhill after they upgraded the character limit to 840

yes anyway 

more highlights of this game include:

the Wolves’ Mass Defect of ‘71 where literally everybody on their team switched over to the opposing

Is that even ALLOWED?

side. nobody thought so but they found a loophole i think. that was when the Tigers managed to get the upper hand but the manager flew some reserve players in super quick 

the original Tigers linebackers split off from the rest of the team four years ago and formed a cult on the 21st floor, i think? i’d swoop in a camera right now and check it out but they’ve always got the windows boarded up so it’s hard to see and honestly i think it’s better that way

and then there’s uhh

ah ah juice don’t forget the hole they punched through floors 4 to 7 

oh god yeah don’t get me STARTED on that

in 17768 the Wolves boarded up all the stairs on the bottom half of the building so they could try to use the elevator’s remains to rappel up to the top with the ball or some shit 

yeah yeah yeah the reasoning was something like, the original plan for the game said they could use the elevators? and ahaha it doesn’t _matter_ if the elevators aren’t working they’re still ripe for the picking

Hang on how were they planning to rappel up the elevator shaft if they weren’t allowed any outside equipment in the game

well uh apparently after four years of playing football in an abandoned building you learn to get pretty creative with what you’ve got

keep that in mind when you hear what happened next trav

turns out that the Tigers had been planning a full frontal assault for the last week or so and initiated that at pretty much exactly the same time, and when they realized they couldn’t get downstairs past floor seven, they started just slamming their gear into the ground until the ground broke

took them a few days but they smashed right through the ceiling, and the structure was so weak there that they managed to plummet right down to floor four, and then they ambushed the Wolves from there

.

so now there’s just a hole in the middle of the building forever

HAHAHAHAAAA WAIT

So when you said they ‘punched a hole’

yes literally punched it

That’s so fucking good.

i know

yeah i’m pretty sure there’s a highlights page on wikipedia somewhere if you want the quick and dirty details

there’s a youtube series too if you want to waste a hundred and fourteen hours of your non-life on this football-shaped deformity of a soap opera like i did

This can’t be real.

I refuse to believe this is real.

This is too _good_ to be real. 

So what’s happening in the game right now??

well if we swing around 

zoom and enhance aaaaand

there we go in through the window

Whaaaaaaaaaaat the fuck am I looking at?

looks like another tussle over Tigers leadership

typical. there’s never any good stuff on whenever we check in

That dude looks like he’s trying to strangle that nice lady

don’t worry the nanos won’t let anyone die

trust me scraps this could go on for. a. _while._

And the Wolves?

think they’re down in the basement

.

.

.

.

so yeah that’s basically game 1992469 in a nutshell. wild times, wild times. let’s just

y’all

my twitter notifications are fucking exploding. 

Why? What happened?

 _you,_ trav. you happened

you’re back and there’s

shit everybody’s so happy to see you back

.

shit

Awwww oh man 

I’m gonna get emotional in a second.

i know i know i might too holy shit

fuck that’s a lotta people

we should um

 _shit GODDAMN_ that’s a lotta people

.

.

how dyou guys feel about doing a show? 

what, like right now?

nah like in an hour or so 

or tomorrow or something

if travis feels up to it i mean

i mean if

YES

he’s feeling okay with

YES YES YES

.

okay i guess that settles that

if you’re absolutely sure trav i know this has gotta be weirder than weird

Listen, I’ve been doing literally nothing for like 42 years. I had to hold still for 27 of those. If I don’t do _something_ with this energy I might actually go off the deep end. 

When are we doing it?

how does an hour from now sound?

Fucking excellent

hang on i’ll send a tweet real fast to let folks know

.

.

okay done

now, we’ve got an hour to kill before that

we’ve got literally the whole world to look at trav what do you want to do next

.

.

Can we look at more football?

Because here’s the thing, I feel like we’ve barely scratched the surface when it comes to future football. Or modern football? I guess it’s modern football now because we’re living in the future, although technically we’re always living in the future, past, and present at the same time, always, constantly. Whoa! I never actually thought about it like that. huh

do you want to look at more football or do you want to wax metaphysics for the next hour

Oh right yeah

Football, definitely, go

you’re right by the way 

about barely scratching the surface, ya don’t know the half of it

hmm juice can we pull up one of the weird ones

the weird ones you say

yeah like the really weird ones

hmmm

the REALLY super weird ones you know the shit i’m talkin about

hmmmm

hmmmmmmmm

_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm_

yeah i bet we can do that

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

time to rock n roll, ba _by_

__

take us away, justin!

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breaking the silence briefly to indicate that, yes, that call for questions was indeed directed at you, the readers. Living in the far-off football-drenched future, and got an advice question or a Yahoo for the boys? Now is the time to send it in, via email or comment! Or, well, before Chapter 7 at least. This is what that 'Reader Interactive' tag is all about.


	5. The best timeline.




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